Why do girls date jerks?!

The age old question that many men have asked.  I being one of them.

(I just want to start out by saying this, what I am about to write may be the most important thing I have ever written regarding relationships.  I say that because I hope this brings to light that which should have already been brought to light.)

One of the most asked question among guys to girls is "Why do girls date jerks?"  And I always thought this as well. We always look at how a guy treats a girl and we ask ourselves this question every time, we think that if only she would know how a true gentle man treats a lady then maybe she will break up with this guy.   I have asked many women this question and have thought about it a lot.  I never really got a solid answer, it was always, "Well maybe she doesn't think highly of herself" or "It's how her father treated her" and so on.  Until one day a very wise friend of mine said "Maybe it's not that the girl is dating the wrong guy but you are looking for the wrong girl"  Can some one say "Snap!".  It was as though a door had been opened and I could see everything!  So here are a couple of things I want to go over about this question.  You can take what I say or simply leave them, no matter what you do it will not effect the answer.


Now we would like to think that this question comes from a good place, but the fact of the matter is it comes from a misguided place, first off we say the wrong thing too quickly, Why do girls date jerks?  We are presuming that we are not jerks because we think highly of ourselves, when in reality we are just as much jerks as the next guy.  secondly we put the girl on the stand proclaiming that she is perfect, of course we need to get it into our thick skulls that no one is perfect, we see that in Romans 3:23 (For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.)  So with this in mind it changes the whole question.
Why,  This starts the question, why are you even asking why?  Get what I'm saying?  I have just asked the person asking the question why they think it's their business to interfere with someone else life.  Is it for the girls well being or do we only ask the question because we want to in turn be with the girl?  I have just taken what started out as a wholesome question into a selfish question.  We must be careful in all that we do even if it seems good at the moment.  Next, "Girls date jerks!?"  Why are we concerned with this?  Well most guys hate seeing girls being treated as trash, there is something in us that desires to protect another person.  It is God given.  But what I see all to often when guys ask this is that they really just want to date that girl, now I have already gone over that point but I just want to focus in on why this should not be the reason behind the question, now if it is true that girls date jerks because they have a warped look about themselves than this means they don't have their hearts right with God, now the Bible tells us to be equally yoked.  Lets say that the girl does decide to leave the jerk and get together with you how do you think that will change her life?  Are we not like her in the sense that we feel that if we treat her with respect and love that we in turn will be loved as well?  Far be it!

Guys, I can not stress this enough!  WE ARE BROKEN, SINNERS!  We can never love some one unconditionally on our own.  We can never make some one happy and she can never do the same for us.  Seek a women who seeks God's heart instead of a women who is only seeking a heart.  Make sure you are completely enslaved to Christ so that no matter what happens He is in charge.




 Ladies, I want you all to know that you are beautiful and deserve more, don't allow your heart to be taken by a man who is broken,  God is the only one who should have your heart.  He sees you with the only eyes that matter and those are the eyes of Grace.


Now coming back to the question "Why do girls date jerks?" well they date jerks the same reason we kill, steal, tell lies... It's because we are sinners, broken.  We must not allow ourselves to be the redeemer for the girl stuck in the bad situation, there is only one redeemer and we must never forget that.


This is rather long but I just wanted to share this with you.  We cannot hope to love someone who is chasing love.  So be sure to think about your questions...  It is all about Christ, it always has been and it always will be.


-Todd LaBerge