Why do girls date jerks?!

The age old question that many men have asked.  I being one of them.

(I just want to start out by saying this, what I am about to write may be the most important thing I have ever written regarding relationships.  I say that because I hope this brings to light that which should have already been brought to light.)

One of the most asked question among guys to girls is "Why do girls date jerks?"  And I always thought this as well. We always look at how a guy treats a girl and we ask ourselves this question every time, we think that if only she would know how a true gentle man treats a lady then maybe she will break up with this guy.   I have asked many women this question and have thought about it a lot.  I never really got a solid answer, it was always, "Well maybe she doesn't think highly of herself" or "It's how her father treated her" and so on.  Until one day a very wise friend of mine said "Maybe it's not that the girl is dating the wrong guy but you are looking for the wrong girl"  Can some one say "Snap!".  It was as though a door had been opened and I could see everything!  So here are a couple of things I want to go over about this question.  You can take what I say or simply leave them, no matter what you do it will not effect the answer.


Now we would like to think that this question comes from a good place, but the fact of the matter is it comes from a misguided place, first off we say the wrong thing too quickly, Why do girls date jerks?  We are presuming that we are not jerks because we think highly of ourselves, when in reality we are just as much jerks as the next guy.  secondly we put the girl on the stand proclaiming that she is perfect, of course we need to get it into our thick skulls that no one is perfect, we see that in Romans 3:23 (For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.)  So with this in mind it changes the whole question.
Why,  This starts the question, why are you even asking why?  Get what I'm saying?  I have just asked the person asking the question why they think it's their business to interfere with someone else life.  Is it for the girls well being or do we only ask the question because we want to in turn be with the girl?  I have just taken what started out as a wholesome question into a selfish question.  We must be careful in all that we do even if it seems good at the moment.  Next, "Girls date jerks!?"  Why are we concerned with this?  Well most guys hate seeing girls being treated as trash, there is something in us that desires to protect another person.  It is God given.  But what I see all to often when guys ask this is that they really just want to date that girl, now I have already gone over that point but I just want to focus in on why this should not be the reason behind the question, now if it is true that girls date jerks because they have a warped look about themselves than this means they don't have their hearts right with God, now the Bible tells us to be equally yoked.  Lets say that the girl does decide to leave the jerk and get together with you how do you think that will change her life?  Are we not like her in the sense that we feel that if we treat her with respect and love that we in turn will be loved as well?  Far be it!

Guys, I can not stress this enough!  WE ARE BROKEN, SINNERS!  We can never love some one unconditionally on our own.  We can never make some one happy and she can never do the same for us.  Seek a women who seeks God's heart instead of a women who is only seeking a heart.  Make sure you are completely enslaved to Christ so that no matter what happens He is in charge.




 Ladies, I want you all to know that you are beautiful and deserve more, don't allow your heart to be taken by a man who is broken,  God is the only one who should have your heart.  He sees you with the only eyes that matter and those are the eyes of Grace.


Now coming back to the question "Why do girls date jerks?" well they date jerks the same reason we kill, steal, tell lies... It's because we are sinners, broken.  We must not allow ourselves to be the redeemer for the girl stuck in the bad situation, there is only one redeemer and we must never forget that.


This is rather long but I just wanted to share this with you.  We cannot hope to love someone who is chasing love.  So be sure to think about your questions...  It is all about Christ, it always has been and it always will be.


-Todd LaBerge

A piece of my past.

I was always influenced by the classic cartoons, I remember as a little boy just laughing and laughing as Donald Duck would lose his temper every time.  He was always my favorite cartoon.  I think the reason I loved this cartoon so much was because my brother and I would watch them together.


There is nothing and I repeat NOTHING in this life like laughing with those who you really care about and this cartoon is one of my all time favorites.  I hope you enjoy it.

"A good laugh is sunshine in a house"

                                       Thackeray

-Todd LaBerge

Happiness is not always fun.

"Fun I love, but too much fun is of all things the most loathsome. Mirth is better than fun, and happiness is better than mirth." 

-William Blake

-Todd LaBerge

A Fathers letter

Dear Child,


      It has been brought to my attention that you have been troubled lately.  It breaks my heart to hear this, I never intended this for you... I have also learned that you don't look at yourself the way I do... You don't see the beauty, compassion, love that I see... This breaks my heart.  My dear, I hear you cry because the world is overwhelming.  I have heard you cry out for me to come home and be the father you need.  I am sorry I am not there to hold you, know this, when you cry... I cry.  I made you exactly the way you were meant to be... I hear you don't like the why I have made you.  This breaks my heart.  In my eyes you are the very meaning of beauty, but you choose to distort that image.  I have made you in my image but yet that isn't good enough for you?  I have heard you say you love me, but how can you love me when you can't even love yourself?  

This breaks my heart.  

I made the stars to shine for you, I have sculpted the very Grand Canyon for you...  I spoke and it was so, but yet you aren't satisfied in who I made you to be.


You are the image of the invisible God.  How do you have image issues with that?


I just want you to love me.  For when you love yourself... You'll be able to truly love me.


I have made the very angels of Heaven to be in awe of you... And you still look at yourself with disgust.


Look not at yourself through the eyes of him who I cast out but rather look through the eyes of grace... Embrace who you are... You are mine... MINE!  The one who has no end.  The one who saw your face while on the cross.


When I first thought of you... You took my breath away...

So my love, I leave you with this... I know you are beautiful.  For I made you the way you are suppose to be.

From the very meaning of love,


Your Heavenly Father.

The captains speech.

Adventure awaits us my boys!  We are going to experience something great, but I must tell you now my lads, adventure is not for the faint of heart, we will be enduring great hardships.  We will know pain like we have never known it before, we may lose all that we know and love, and in the end we may not even make it back... But we can say with heads held high, "I AM AN ADVENTURER!  I HAVE LIVED AND LOVED LIKE ONLY AN ADVENTURER CAN!"  Your rewards will out weigh your loss...


Why do we go?.....  Well my boy... To find our beating hearts.... To know what it means to have a soul...


WHAT SHALL WE CALL THIS ADVENTURE SIR?!


Why my lads!  We shall call it "Life"  for that is the greatest adventure of all!

And so we live as only adventurers can live... To the fullest.



-Todd LaBerge

How Deep the Fathers love.

Some times we can only sit back and wonder how deep His love is.

I am a wretch... 

–noun

1. a deplorably unfortunate or unhappy person.

2. a person of despicable or base character.

But He sees me as His treasure....  

–noun

1.wealth or riches stored or accumulated, especially in the form of precious metals, money, jewels, or plate.

2.wealth, rich materials, or valuable things.

3.any thing or person greatly valued or highly prized

This gives me worth and that is priceless.   


I will only boast in Jesus Christ.

"To boast in our creator is to bring joy to Him that creates joy... To love Him who is love and to accept Him who has already accepted us."

-Todd LaBerge

The Most Beautiful Woman in the World.

Dearest Madam of beauty,


You are the very essence of grace, elegance and charm.

You are the most beautiful woman in the world.

You have worked, cleaned, cooked, taught and given your all for us boys.

You are the most beautiful woman in the world.

You have given us a desire to chase God with our everything and to always trust Him and His sovereignty.

You are the most beautiful woman in the world.

You were there when I was sick, angry, tired.  My lowest and highest.

You are the most beautiful woman in the world.

When your name is spoken in heaven the very breath of angels stop and the halls of heaven shout!

You are the most beautiful woman in the world.

You bring glory to our King.


You are my Mother... The most beautiful woman in the world.


Happy Birthday Love!


Your Son, 

Todd LaBerge

Love.

                              Go out and love someone.


        

              "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet."
                                                               -Plato




-Todd LaBerge

Faith 101

Faith is made for times like this... Times when we are so broken that we feel as though there is no hope for us, that we are simply falling into a pit in which we cannot see out of, to feel the suffocation of darkness invading our very soul.  We must have faith to know that there will be a sunrise, that the night cannot and will not over take us... To know that God is always with us... Especially in our pain...


I was playing poker tonight with some good friends and it was down to just my friend Caleb and I... The stakes were high... this was the time to take it all or lose it all...  I had a jack and a king, I had to get a 9 or I would lose... I had more chips then Caleb, so why bet it all?  Why not do the smart thing and play it safe.  Because in life we cannot always play it safe, because if we do we may miss out on what we were meant for, so with a sick feeling in my stomach I laid it all on the line, Caleb had a queen so he would beat me if the 9 wasn't dealt,  one chance, one card.  The last card was dealt in silence....... Then ROARS of laughter and "Ahhs" rang in the air as to my great joy a 9 had been dealt!  In that moment that I realized that sometimes that is how our faith should be, to know that God is dealing the cards, we are to bet our chips in order to win it all, to live is Christ, to die is gain!


Faith has to be the moment you surrender your will, your pride, your all...

Faith, Hope and Love.  These are the essentials of Christianity... The essentials of Life.

-Todd LaBerge

God is good period.

God is good and I'm not talking about a Sunday morning "God is good" but a eternal, life changing, redemptive giving, pure and unsaturated GOD IS GOOD!  He deserve more than a simple statement, He commands a life completely for Him.  Some one who is willing to give all for the Almighty one, to say I am nothing and you are everything.... this is a God who is good, but you say how is that good? isn't selfishness bad?  Our selfishness is.  But we are broken... He is not... We cannot compare ourselves to the everlasting one.  In doing so we elevate ourselves and down size God, if He created everything and still decided to die for us, then how can we possibly be on the same level as He is?  

Oh to carry the cross as He did is to carry the very weight of grace.  To share in His pain is to share in His gain.

He is so beyond us! but yet He desires to be with us, that is a concept void of all logic, but that is only our logic and our logic is temporary.


I am so honored to be in the embrace of my creature, my all!


Cry out for the love of our redeemer, cry out for love, hope and peace, for our God is good and He is deserving of all praise.

Be willing to give all for the one who has already done so.

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world” -C.S. Lewis

-Todd LaBerge

You are beautiful

The biggest disappointment in society today is the lack of self worth, whether that is how we view and or treat ourselves or the everyday ridicule of others.  The human worth has been thrown out the window.  We think of ourselves as nobodies because of what others say of us and the worst part is that we stand by and accept it.  We then turn it into self loathing and blame everything on ourselves.  This is rubbish!


Now ladies, I want you to know that if you have a boy who is interested in you, he is to treat you as if you are royalty, you deserve nothing less.  Men who abuse women are scum, plain and simple, you should never have to take that.  Never and I say never look at yourself and accept that you are worthless, you don't have a price tag, price tags are for objects, you are not an object!  You are the image of the immortal God!  Embrace your beauty and shine as only a pretty girl can and know that you are loved.


The worlds sense of worth is vastly different than God's, the earth's is only temporary and God's is forever, so it only makes sense that we would take that to heart right?  Sadly no, we buy into the lie that we must be something more than what we are, if you believe that then let me just say this, If you are the image of God who is perfect and beyond greatness than why would you want to change that?  How could you?  I am not saying that you are not destined for greatness, I believe we all are but our greatness does not define us, in fact it only testifies what we can accomplish because of who we are.  Who are we?  We are His, if we are only an accident then we have no worth so we cannot accomplish anything.  We can do great things because He is great!


This is getting rather long so I will end it with this.


You.


Are.

Priceless.

     

"The greatest evil that can befall man is that he should come to think ill of himself."

                       -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

-Todd LaBerge

The Warrior

Men, there is something amazing about an ordinary man who stands his ground even in the face of certain death, it's awe inspiring to see such bravery, one can only hope that when the time comes that they would be that brave.  Every man has a desire to be a knight, not in shining army as the romantics would have you believe but in war torn armor, armor that has seen battle, that has been a testament to bravery, valor and courage.  It is this war torn armor that women should look for, one that says "I stand for those who cannot stand, fight against those who wish to harm and I die for that which I love."  These are the men that we should strive to be, not a man who seeks to shed blood, but a man who sheds his own blood in order that other may not.  As the lion roars so must a man shout in the face of evil, saying "I fear no evil!  I shall defeat you!  Even if that means I lose my life."  

For you see, in dying for something more than ourselves we become immortal.

This is the heart of a true warrior... A true man.


So ladies if you are looking for a man who stays clean and doesn't damage his armor.... then you are not safe for that is no man but a shell of a boy who has never experienced danger.

This video is a good representation of what a real man does, he not only stands for what is right but he makes others leaders and warriors.  William Wallace was a great example and he paid the price.


So men, stand tall, stay true and never let your guard down because evil never stops, we are to scream in the face of death and lay in the embrace of grace.  

We are men.  



Accept it.




-Todd LaBerge



P.S. This is also why guys are obsessed with Zombies, just so you know.