The silent whisper of fear: How grief spawns fear

One morning I open my email to see a message from my Dad, now, my dad usually sends really funny emails, sometimes political posts or what new road law is being instated. Not today, today this email reads (in my mind) like this "Hi boys, blah blah blah, found a mass in my neck, blah blah, will check up with doctor, love dad". I'll be honest, when I read this, I wasn't alarmed, sad or angry, I had complete and total peace, it was not me trying to be brave or to put on a front, it was just peace, true God sent peace.

That was about a month ago and since then I have talked with my dad, he seemed good and in high spirits. A couple of days ago I get an email from him, "hi guy's, just got news from the doctor and the mass is cancerous... Need chemo and treatment... Standing true on God's word, love dad."

This time the peace was not there, if you have ever been in an accident you may know the feeling that I'm talking about, the gut wrenching that I got from reading that word "cancerous" was like the moment you lose control and you know you are about to converge on impact, nothing and then all at once.

I was home alone when I got the news, I did not cry, I did not get angry, I simply sat there and thought. The quote came to mind that C.S. Lewis said "No one ever told me that grief would feel so much like fear." It was true, the grief of finally knowing the brutal reality of what that mass was was in fact like fear. Suffocating my thoughts to the point that I had to stop thinking about it, my emotions could not process the stark truth of what this meant. My dad, the one who I thought was invincible, now has cancer.

I was now confronted with this thing called grief, all of humanity have fallen under the weight of grief. Grief has a tendency to make you ask "why" where joy has the tendency to answer the "why's" in life.

But we often find ourselves at a crossing point in life when we encounter grief, asking the eternal questions of God, faith, life and so on. But for me I did not find myself asking these questions, I had already done that before with grief years ago. No, this time grief was not making me ask, grief was hiding me in my fear, hoping that I would not seek out God for any answers, no, this grief was wanting me all to itself.

The beautiful thing about being God's beloved is that He chases you, not allowing you to fall victim to the lies of the enemy. The scripture verse 2 Timothy 1:7 came to mind one day "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind." I knew in that moment that I was free from the fear of grief, free to praise God for whatever happens!

Grief is not bad in and of its self, it is the enslaving ability of it that is evil, fear has captured many of you the same way it did me, but I want you all to know that you are not called to that fear, you are called to a place where grief will be no more, where the shadow of fear cannot touch those of us who are in the eternal light of Christ.

Do not listen to the whisper of fear but instead hear the cry of redemption, the song of grace and see the son of God robed in majesty, clothed in the fullness of His love and power.

Yes my dad has cancer, yes it is something to be taken seriously but it is not something that has rattled my faith, because my faith is not dependent on my success or health, it is dependent on Christ alone.

I know He is experiencing this with me because He was, after all, a man of many sorrows. So if fear visits you in the form if grief just remember that He crucified fear to the cross so that we would not have to bare it.

Christians never say goodbye.

I have recently started reading "A Severe Mercy" and as I was reading C.S. Lewis makes the statement that Christians never say goodbye.  I don't know about you but I absolutely love that!  All too often we seem to find ourselves in a temporary mindset, the reason for that is because every once in a while we are tempted to not believe in Heaven, hell and God himself.  We take the term of God's grace being a gift too literal, we say thank you politely and then we put it in the closet, still in the box, grace is not something to be put in storage.  It must be applied into our lives so that grace not only is relevant to our lives but it emanates through us and affects those around us.

So knowing that Heaven, hell and God are all real, simply because we as "Christians" have accepted His grace, we can now believe in this idea that we never really say goodbye.  Why is that?  Well, saying goodbye is the idea that we may never see each other again, so we want to leave with a word that best describes our current mood upon departure.  The reason we don't say goodbye is because we will see each other again, in the glory and majesty of Christ.  It is through that grace that we accepted and have shinning through us that makes reunion possible.

So my friends, until we meet again may the grace of God be with you and shine through you!


-Todd LaBerge

For grace be our all.

In order for us to understand that which God desires for our lives we must first understand God, once we have an understanding of our guide we will come to the knowledge that He will never tell us where to go but will simply guide us there.

It is only through a complete surrender to grace that we can even hope to change the world.  Change must start with our hearts, those steps we take that allow the creator to settle into our lives are the most important steps we can possibly take.  The fact that God gives us the opportunity to surrender what we call a life to Him is one that has been taken too lightly, how can we have pride when we kill each other?  How can we have pride when children starve to death... How can we?   Yet we let anger and bitterness over take us as if we have some power over God.  Oh how misguided we are!  Only a fool shakes his fist at God, can no one put some sense into him?  Can no one tell him of the overwhelming love that he is throwing away?  Or the wrath that he is collecting for himself?

Let us be the melody of heaven in a world full of white noise, let our actions be that of old: bold, faithful and without doubt.  Rise up and surrender to grace!  Let redemption be our path and hope our shepherd.  Cling onto Christ who is wanting our all, let truth be our lantern in a world that is plummeted in darkness, and let love be that which keeps us moving.  For grace be our all so our all would be full of grace.


"Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading." - Oswald Chambers


We become the song of heaven so that when we get to those gates we shall not be greeted as strangers but rather as someone who is returning home and we can continue the song that we have started on earth.

-Todd LaBerge

When in Rome.

Well, as most of you don't know, I am moving to a little place called Rome, Georgia.  It is an exciting process and I actually had no idea I was moving until about a month ago... Here is the story, about a month ago I had the chance to visit my good friend Ryan Simmons who lives in Rome.  I was sitting and talking with him and his wife, when Ryan just asked the question if I wanted to move down there and make movies with him.  This should have been a total surprise to me, yet it wasn't... the beauty of life is the fact that even if you aren't surprised with a question you are surprised by your reaction... Any way I said I would think about it but lets be real... I had already made my mind up right there on the spot... So I went home for a week before starting Summit in WI for 2 glorious weeks.

So... after Summit ended, my mind and heart had by that time been fully committed to moving...  I leave this coming Wednesday...

Now, it is important to look at this situation and see God's hand move in a real way.  I have been asked a lot, "Why Rome, Georgia?!"  My answer is usually a laugh followed by, "Why not?".  All too often in life we are faced with possibilities and we never take them, we let the "buts" in life make the decisions for us instead of the "King" in life.  Why is that?  If we believe that God spoke the world into existence why not believe that He will take care of us?  Or do we not really believe what we say...  I am tired of mouthy Christians who claim a God of power but live a life of fear.  C.S. Lewis talks about how God is the author of the play, He has written the beginning and the end but He allows the actor to do improvisation.  Those moments that the director lets us shine because He wants us to are the moments that in all honesty will scare us the most.  It is a matter of getting over the stage fright that we all experience, do we shake off those butterflies and perform for an audience of one?  or do we simply stand there and tremble?  Of course, there will be times were you are stuck in the intermission, but we can do one of two things, either sit there and be nervous or read our script and be ready for the next act.  How in all our pride and stubbornness can we stand before the cross and say, "God show me my path?".  Sometimes the best thing we can do for Christ's kingdom is to actually do something!  So why the hell aren't you?   Are you simply letting the little things stand before the biggest One?

I am leaving everyone I know and love because I am following the one who loves me... God is waiting for us to move, He desires us to grab a hold onto His hand... Whether this be in a relationship or a life change, God allows us to do improv... And when the play is finished and the curtains are down that is the moment we all meet again and congratulate each other on a fine performance and the King of glory will rush backstage to rain praises upon His star actor.

Are we waiting for God or ourselves?

So why not allow the God who chose death so that we would not be forsaken to reign completely over our lives?  Take a leap, for God is right behind you all the way.  As a child can sleep in the back of a car because they know that their dad knows the way so we can rest knowing God knows the way.

-Todd LaBerge

Love that will not let me go

A man bursts through a door on a cold wintery night... flames licking the roof of the building, a small child's voice is heard among the fire, "Help" he cries thinking that no one is there but none the less still screaming out.  As the flames get closer to the child fear grips his heart feeling as though all is lost and being completely alone...  The child puts his head down with tears streaming down his face knowing that he is about to die.  But the man leaps to his side and wraps his arms around the frightened child, to the man it was like picking up a doll, having no concern about his own safety he dashes for the door with the child secure in his arms, the flames burn and scare the man, but the child is still safe... the man makes a quick exit but the building starts to fall all around the two, a single moment in time, a single choice... the man leaps for the opening in the building, an opening that will mean safety, escape... As he makes it out with the building falling down... the child is still safe.   As people crowd around them the only concern the man has is for the child...  The child looks up at the man with tears in his eyes and asked, "Am I safe?" With a smile and a nod the man says "Yes".

Love that will not let us go is the love that keeps us safe... The love that gives us grace, for by this grace we are saved.  Even though the world may be burning down around us, we are still given the opportunity to cry out for help, even if it seem that all is lost, he is still seeking us, with no concern for his own safety, he is looking for that child to wrap his arms around.  He does what is needed... to keep you safe.  So one day we can look in his eyes and ask... "Am I safe?" and with the glory of eternity shining from his face he shall smile and say "yes".

So dear children, live with the love that you have been given and love the life that you have been endowed with for the King is keeping you safe.

 

-Todd LaBerge

Brothers in Christ.

To feel the pain of someone you love is potent in ones life, it is as though your very chest is ripped open to a fresh new pain unlike any you have ever felt.  It is one that we do not desire, one that finds its way into our life no matter how well we guard ourselves.  But the redeeming part of pain is brotherhood, we need brothers in Christ to come along with us when we are broken and distraught, when it seems that our lives can no longer get worse.  Christ brings that connection of souls into our lives to draw us closer to Him the way only pain can bring about.  Will we be bitter?  Maybe.  Does that mean God hates us?  No.  To experience a tragedy that a dear friend is going through is either the most destructive or constructive thing we can experience.  It is whether we choose to allow God in His grace and sovereignty to embrace us with peace and love.  It's O.K. to scream to the heavens in pain, to release that inner turmoil that we are experiencing, but we must not do it alone.  There is something amazing that happens when you share a burden, you begin to look up, to see that life is more then just pain and suffering, that love exists and is near.  To know that love is always near is a wonderful thought which we must grasp onto each and everyday.  Hebrews 2:14 talks about how Christ shared in our humanity.  He shared pain.  He shared friendship.  He shared love.  He shared life.  It is a moment in time where Man and God shared each other.  We must in turn share humanity with one another.  For we see salvation in our brokenness.  When we are weak He is strong.  I find myself weak a lot, so I find Him strong forever.

Let your hearts not be burdened down by the pain of this world, let it in turn be made new by the love of Grace eternal... For love is near and it is a beautiful thing.

-Todd LaBerge

To whom it my concern.

Oh to long for something greater then ourselves,  this is rare in our society... We all too often allow the pleasures of life to overcome the glory of eternity.  How can we live a mortal life when we were called to an immortal one?  It is something that has come to plague my every thought these days.  You could say "well you need to live life first!"  yes that is true, but you are missing the bigger picture!  To focus our gaze on eternity in turn helps us to be able to live our life here!  We can live fuller lives knowing that eternity with Christ and loved ones awaits us after we have carried out the masters calling, that is to live and live well. 
So my friends I besiege you to live well and love often.  God wants us to be happy!  Yes that may come as a shocker but the fact of the matter is God has always loved us, after all we are made in His image.  Now why would you want to deny that?  We need to talk of Heaven more, why do we avoid this conversation with friends and family?  Is it that somehow in the back of our minds we don't want to think of Heaven?  Well... To be honest that is O.K.  But here is the great thing about Heaven... It's not going to be boring!  I know!  Crazy right?!  The biggest fear of Heaven is eternity, but friends, believe it or not, time is something that we have to let us know that life is short, eternity is simply the fact that life is no longer short, but life is something that can be experienced to the fullest amount!  Imagine a world that is held back by sin and pain, but then it is renewed to a world that is free of suffering and death.  The fact that we can serve our God for eternity is something that should excite us!  Something that should drive our hearts to scream the truth from every building top.

To live the gospel is to know what living is all about!  SO LIVE!

-Todd LaBerge

The true thoughts of love.

Dear Child,


Rest your head in the thought of grace.  For it is eternal.


Embrace the quality of my love.  For I will never turn away.


Face the greatness of my salvation.  For I have already bled for you.


You are thought of.  For I am King.


You are beautiful.  For you are made in my image.


You are loved.  For I was broken for you.
 

You are mine.


- Father

A peaceful but lonely place.

The void of friendship once had is of utmost pain, to feel as though love and life was ripped from ones very own soul can be disheartening, almost of tragic build.  One finds them-self on the brink of life and eternity searching for a deeper meaning, these are the moments we most grab onto something bigger then ourselves, we must take time to allow the pain of loss to mold the mind of absence, take solace in the fact that you will one day meet again, take this time to cling onto the creator.  For He is the only one who desires us at all times, the only one who longs to see us smile, laugh and live.  He is the one who speaks to us when all is silent.  All to often we criticize God for not speaking into our lives but the fact of the matter is how often do we allow silence to happen in our lives?  How often do we simply let our father treat us to something amazing?  Before you start spewing out hate towards God because you haven't heard from Him in a while, stop and think, when was the last time I even took time for Him?  We live in a broken world with broken people, get this through your mind, no one is perfect, even the redeemed are not made whole yet, only Christ is whole.  So find that peaceful place.  Allow the maker to create something beautiful through you, take time to speak to the man who wants you to grow in wisdom and understanding.  So my beloved friends, remember that love that cannot hurt us or dismay us will never leave us nor forsake us.

Hope is not a feeling but a man and his name is Jesus Christ.  Cling onto this man.

-Todd LaBerge

Pain.

My heart hurts like it has never hurt before, my body is weary like it has never been before, my soul is drained like it has never been before.... But my God is good like so many times before... My mind is restless, like a child running after a kite which has gotten away from him, the struggle to maintain composer is almost unbearable, I want to just sit down and cry out "I can't catch it!"  But I will not, for my mind is not one to be beaten.  I have a creator who loves me, not only that but He gives me reason to live!  For I am made in His image!  Chosen, bought, stamped!  I AM HIS!!!!  So like the child who cry's because he could not catch his beloved kite, so I sit, waiting for Dad to carry me home.  I long for the embrace of my Father again.  My heart is of fragile build... I need the carpenter to strengthen it.  My body is sculpted by the master artist, I need to be mended.  My soul is filled by the grace and peace of Christ... I need my savior to fill it a new.


Do I bare this weight all on my own?  Am I the only one who feels this way?  By no means!  For Christ experienced pain to the fullest, even rejection from God himself!  We mere mortals think we are alone...  But in reality, we are immortals who can never be alone.

This is from the heart and soul of a very, very tired man.

-Todd LaBerge

Pride is King.

"My dog is more polite then the shoppers here" this was something someone at my job said tonight and it got me thinking, how proud are we that we can't work, shop or process without grumbling about what is happening to us.   In this age pride is king and we are it's slave, we bend under it's power and selfishness thinking we have some sort of ownership to what is happening around us, we see everything as "Ours" and nobody can or should touch it.  We wake up every morning and think to ourselves how am I going to spend "My" day?  Since when did each day becomes ours?  We like to think that every minute is ours and it is a precious thing to us and if anyone wastes it then it has been stolen from us, for example that one person in your life who you can't stand wants to talk to you, but you won't give them the time of day because your time is too important to waste on them, oh the arrogance we mortals have, C.S. Lewis talks about how we trivialize the fact that we think everything is ours, from my boots to my God, he says "This is a joke both in Heaven and Hell." We are so arrogant that we even think salvation is up to us to choose.  God gave His only son to die for us, we never told Him to do that yet we still think it's our call to save ourselves.  Now you may be thinking I am talking about free will and all that jazz, I am not, I am simply stating that we make God out to be something that He is not, we want to control Him and make Him ours but the fact of the matter is, He is untamed, like a mighty wave that cannot be controlled by man, He crashes down on our insubordination and our lack of faith.  We want a cuddly God who tells us that everything is alright, We want a punching bag God who we can yell at and blame for our problems, but that is not who God is.
Back to our pride, we are not the masters of our destiny, we are simply vessels of God or vessels of death, in the end it's that fact that breaks it all, are we going to continue in our pride and pour out death? Or will we allow God to take charge and cast out pride from our lives?  Each day is God's day, this boot is God's and God is God, so remember to not complain or grumble, imagine a world where everyone lifts each other up, speaks words of truth into lives instead of gossip and deceit.  That world is one where Christ is first and we are last where pride has no throne and death is no more,  That is a sweet thought my friends...

This song is by Deas Vail and it has a great message about going for the last place because in the end it will be the first place.  This is the attitude we need for a Christ like life style.

Let's strive to be a servant like Christ, because after all He is King and we are His children shouldn't we at least try and obey the master?


-Todd LaBerge

The wisdom of children.

This kid is amazing, I'm sure most of you have seen this before but I just had to post this.

"It's an exciting movie" - 3 year old girl in the video.

-Todd LaBerge

I would give you Rome.

Love is a powerful word, one that has been miss used since the dawn of man, but when used in the right situation is the most influential word in history.  Now I bring love up because my dear friend Evan has recently entered into a relationship with a wonderful little lady named Jessica, this has brought up some  thoughts about love and what one will do for it.  How can we mere mortals even consider love when we live in a world so torn by hate?  Well it's simple.  God loved us first.  Now you may think that is cliche' or a given but think about it, we would never know love unless we at some point were loved first.  Sense we all have a beginning there had to be someone who was there from the start to show us what it means to be loved.  God is the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end. 

Love was shown in the beginning and it will be shown till the end.

This love triggers all other forms of love, but the strongest is that one that makes us toss and turn in the wee hours of the night, that love which tortures our very soul, it desires to burst forth from our hearts and be said from the mountain tops, this love that musicians have sung about for years, this love that poets make masterpieces out of.  This is the love that will drive a young man to conquer the world and a young women to chase her dreams.

I would give you Rome for a smile from you, I would give you Paris for a chance to be next to you, I would give you the moon to hold your hand and I would give you my heart for a life time with you.

Argue, laugh, cry, sing, read, dance, eat, travel, work, grow old.  This IS life that is to be had with one another that God intended,  for it is a glance of heaven, a song of ages and a call to Him in the end.  Let your hearts not fret for your special someone but rejoice in the moments that pass till you meet.  For every minute is a life time ready to begin.

Single people rejoice in the divine opportunity you have with God, grow deeper in His word, let not your heart wonder into the realm of those before you for it is not your time, you are to be focused on God and HIS plan before your own...   He would give you Rome, Paris and the Moon...  He already gave you His son after all.

A bit random but known the less still on my mind.

-Todd LaBerge

Mothers

  A mothers love is sweeter than honey, her patience is out done only by the grace of God.  She is a beautiful model of elegance and humility.  But yet we don't appreciate them enough, they toil and labor over us for years, yet we only take one day to celebrate these amazing women,  why is that?  All too often we take for granted the most important things in life, one of which is motherhood.  As teenagers we argue and complain with the women who spent hours in pain bringing your-selfish life into the world.  But you know what's best don't you cupcake?  Sense you've lived nearly half your mothers life you obviously know better then she does right?  Hmmm arrogance is such a childhood state of mind don't you think?  I say we leave the wisdom to the mothers, I mean that is what they are here for right?  To teach us our lessons in life, to be the comfort we needed when we were in our darkest moments, she cleaned us and fed us, she gave us life!  This gives us reason to celebrate her everyday!
   Now if you have a mother who has died and find this day especially hard to celebrate then I want you to know that I can't imagine the pain you feel,  but take this day to think about your mom and celebrate her, for no matter how short a time you had with her, she was still your mother and no matter what, a mother WILL always love her children,  You were loved... If only for a moment, you were loved.


Now give your mother a phone call or pay her a visit, let her know that she is loved too.

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother."  -Abraham Lincoln

-Todd LaBerge

A letter to 22 from 21

Dear 22,

    I hope this letter finds you in the highest of spirits, 16, 17 and 20 all send their love and hope the best for you.  Now on to more important matters,  I have often wondered about you and how you will be embracing the changes you will no doubt be taking, I image you are preparing for the year, and the plans you will be making are (As I have complete trust in you) going to be marvelous!  I'm sure our friend Todd will be quite comfortable with you, he can at sometimes be a bit of a nuisance but he does have his moments (Make sure to make the most of those moments).  All I ask of you is to make sure that Todd is living a life that will be worthy of our family who is to come after us, make this year one that even 100 will hear of.  I beg of you to always make sure that Todd is living one of honor, respect and humbleness.  Let's pray we don't have another 13 again, we all know that was a terrible year.  But I just want you to know that I believe in you and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have Todd's best interest in heart.  We have a good thing going on right now, so stay true to the course and never cease, because the moment we fall out of line is the moment we have failed this young mans life.  Don't allow him to screw this up.  In fact as often as possible refer him to the man upstairs.  I mean God is the only reason we even exist,  He is the reason our path changed so much from 7 to 8, you remember the story that 8 tells us!  The moment we stepped into this race.   So be sure to encourage Todd as he runs the race, strengthen his resolve to be more then flesh and blood.  Remember though even if you do stumble on the way it is like the great scholar C. S. Lewis once said, "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn."  So even if that point comes when he is in the toughest situation remember that experience will teach him something amazing.
So my brother, I love you and am looking forward to what you are going to do, may it be nothing less than spectacular.  

Knock em out kid.

Love,
 
21

Age, Brother and Baby.

   I am nearing my birthday here very soon and my beloved brother is having a baby... All this coming upon me is bringing back the fact that even though I will only be 22,  I am getting older.  But the one thing I am coming to grips with is that life is beautiful and it will continue to pass on by,  but you know what?  Life is made to be in motion.  It is the utmost importance to realize this,  no we cannot go back to our childhoods, no we cannot be 10 years in the future, we must embrace each and every day because you never know when you will be playing guns in the backyard and the next moment you hear your brother say that he is going to be a father.


  When you have taken life and accepted that it is always continuing then you are ready for what is to come.  So I am happy to say that I embrace this next chapter in my life, becoming older, an uncle again and whatever else life has for me I accept it with open arms and you should too.

"There is no wealth but life." -John Ruskin

We never see it coming, but what do we do when it hits us?  Do we sit down and cry about it or do we invite it in for tea and make the best of it,  I choose the latter my friends because no matter how hard we fight it will happen. 

           "Be the hero of this story because God knows every story needs a hero."

-Todd LaBerge

Be Still and Know.

Sometimes we get so engulfed in our own needs and wants that we forget that fine line between being holy as He is holy and just plain selfish.  Even in our desire to be "perfect" we forget who is actually perfect, we zone God out and replace Him with our own image.  You cannot see your reflection with a broken mirror my friends. 
We ask God to forgive "our" needs so much that we forget why we are even asking for forgiveness,  I have found myself going through the day "Praying without ceasing" for my own needs.  Sometimes God just wants us to stop and listen to Him say "Be still and know that I am God."


Be still and know that I am God... That is so powerful.  It is the still voice of God telling us to be as He is, to feel His love overwhelming our very life, to capture the very meaning of power, grace, redemption, hope and love...  How can we go a day without standing still and knowing that God is God...
This needs to be screamed from every pulpit in America.  When we move and ignore God we tend to lose sight of everything we believe in...  We begin to cry and morn about how miserable our lives are.  Or we judge and get angry at those who do cry out at every step of the way.  God has called us to be on His level, but yet we demand that He stoop down for us...  This is how we get such blasphemous beliefs like the KKK or West-borough Baptist Church,  We get a false sense of what is good and the world looks at that and says "There is no God... What God would allow that to happen?"
God forgive the arrogance that we sinners have, forgive us for the way we treat you and your creation.  forgive our need to fix things our self... forgive our desire to be independent of you. forgive our stubbornness to stop and listen to you who loves us unconditionally...

"For as great as His wrath shall be at the day of judgement so also is His love."

To be still and know that He is God.... Is all that He wants...  And everything is what we should give...

-Todd LaBerge

The thing about pain.

Something I wrote a little while back, thought it was good and that I would share with you guys!


Who am I to say that your pain is any less than mine?  I have struggled with judging people on the pain I see and not the pain that I cannot feel myself.  How can I say that your pain is less important than the man who is on the side of the road?  Has that man experienced your pain? No.  Have you experienced his pain? No.  We cannot judge peoples pain because we can never experience it on the same level, only one being in the existence of time itself can say "I know exactly what you are going through" He is the one who took that shame.  He is the only one who is just, The only one who you should be dependent on.  Now it has been said that God is evil because he causes pain, now why would a God who "Causes" pain allow himself to experience this pain to the fullest?  Why would he stoop to the level of man?  If he was evil wouldn't he just let us suffer?  In fact if he was "TRULY" evil he would not even allow us to know pain, because to know pain we must know happiness, now is this something an "Evil" god would allow?  No... Evil exists because God is GOOD!  It is like a light that shines into the dark, without the light you would not know dark.  Do we dwell in the dark or do we dwell in the light?  Now I can't say that we will not experience pain once we are Christians, just because you have accepted Him doesn't mean you are automatically taken out of the realm of the world and all its evilness, no in fact we are called to the world, as soon as we deny pain we deny grace,  life is full of pain, but growth comes out of pain, your mother had to endure pain to have you, would she give you up now to never have had to experience that pain?  By no means!  In order to give life she had to endure pain,  but after the pain we get life.  Christ endured the pain of being ripped from himself, but he did it to give life to the world, we as Christians cannot have an exit plan when it comes to the world, because as the great John Stonestreet once said "God did not save us from the world, He saved us TOO the world."  So when you see someone hurting, don't say "There's a child who is in far greater pain then you so suck it up."  We don't know their pain, how dare you judge them when you yourself have not experienced this pain.  Pain is a battle we all must deal with on our own level, but we can rest assured that Christ has experienced this pain, Also He carries this with him, the scares on his hands, the stripes on his back and the crown around his head.  So if you are in pain today, Christ is holding his bruised and beaten hand out to you, he is suffering with you.  You are not alone, Christ was the only one alone... He paid it, He lived with the pain.  That is why God is not evil.

But who am I to say this... I am only 21.

-Todd LaBerge

Check it out!

Love on the Mind

Love on the Mind.

As I am typing this I am uploading a video to my Vimeo site called "Love on the Mind",  I hope you all enjoy it.  I also hope you get it.   The story is about a young man who is on a journey to discover who his true love is, as he is traveling around town he is thinking about this love and how they have effected his life, he experiences confusion, frustration and pain just like we all have when seeking love, but sometimes love awaits us where we left it...  The ending is meant to be humorous/cute if that makes any sense at all.  It was a lot of fun filming it with my buds Evan and Eric Wilcox.  I love how even if the idea seems silly they will still help me out.  It's a HUGE blessing to have friends like that.  Of course this video is driven by my love of music, as you will see in the video, I have such favorites as The Avett Brothers, Frightened Rabbit and Vampire Weekend.  The emotion behind this project is largely due to the music, also my extreme love for something else as well.  But you will have to wait and see it in the video!

Be sure to tell me what you think!




-Todd LaBerge