The silent whisper of fear: How grief spawns fear

One morning I open my email to see a message from my Dad, now, my dad usually sends really funny emails, sometimes political posts or what new road law is being instated. Not today, today this email reads (in my mind) like this "Hi boys, blah blah blah, found a mass in my neck, blah blah, will check up with doctor, love dad". I'll be honest, when I read this, I wasn't alarmed, sad or angry, I had complete and total peace, it was not me trying to be brave or to put on a front, it was just peace, true God sent peace.

That was about a month ago and since then I have talked with my dad, he seemed good and in high spirits. A couple of days ago I get an email from him, "hi guy's, just got news from the doctor and the mass is cancerous... Need chemo and treatment... Standing true on God's word, love dad."

This time the peace was not there, if you have ever been in an accident you may know the feeling that I'm talking about, the gut wrenching that I got from reading that word "cancerous" was like the moment you lose control and you know you are about to converge on impact, nothing and then all at once.

I was home alone when I got the news, I did not cry, I did not get angry, I simply sat there and thought. The quote came to mind that C.S. Lewis said "No one ever told me that grief would feel so much like fear." It was true, the grief of finally knowing the brutal reality of what that mass was was in fact like fear. Suffocating my thoughts to the point that I had to stop thinking about it, my emotions could not process the stark truth of what this meant. My dad, the one who I thought was invincible, now has cancer.

I was now confronted with this thing called grief, all of humanity have fallen under the weight of grief. Grief has a tendency to make you ask "why" where joy has the tendency to answer the "why's" in life.

But we often find ourselves at a crossing point in life when we encounter grief, asking the eternal questions of God, faith, life and so on. But for me I did not find myself asking these questions, I had already done that before with grief years ago. No, this time grief was not making me ask, grief was hiding me in my fear, hoping that I would not seek out God for any answers, no, this grief was wanting me all to itself.

The beautiful thing about being God's beloved is that He chases you, not allowing you to fall victim to the lies of the enemy. The scripture verse 2 Timothy 1:7 came to mind one day "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind." I knew in that moment that I was free from the fear of grief, free to praise God for whatever happens!

Grief is not bad in and of its self, it is the enslaving ability of it that is evil, fear has captured many of you the same way it did me, but I want you all to know that you are not called to that fear, you are called to a place where grief will be no more, where the shadow of fear cannot touch those of us who are in the eternal light of Christ.

Do not listen to the whisper of fear but instead hear the cry of redemption, the song of grace and see the son of God robed in majesty, clothed in the fullness of His love and power.

Yes my dad has cancer, yes it is something to be taken seriously but it is not something that has rattled my faith, because my faith is not dependent on my success or health, it is dependent on Christ alone.

I know He is experiencing this with me because He was, after all, a man of many sorrows. So if fear visits you in the form if grief just remember that He crucified fear to the cross so that we would not have to bare it.

Christians never say goodbye.

I have recently started reading "A Severe Mercy" and as I was reading C.S. Lewis makes the statement that Christians never say goodbye.  I don't know about you but I absolutely love that!  All too often we seem to find ourselves in a temporary mindset, the reason for that is because every once in a while we are tempted to not believe in Heaven, hell and God himself.  We take the term of God's grace being a gift too literal, we say thank you politely and then we put it in the closet, still in the box, grace is not something to be put in storage.  It must be applied into our lives so that grace not only is relevant to our lives but it emanates through us and affects those around us.

So knowing that Heaven, hell and God are all real, simply because we as "Christians" have accepted His grace, we can now believe in this idea that we never really say goodbye.  Why is that?  Well, saying goodbye is the idea that we may never see each other again, so we want to leave with a word that best describes our current mood upon departure.  The reason we don't say goodbye is because we will see each other again, in the glory and majesty of Christ.  It is through that grace that we accepted and have shinning through us that makes reunion possible.

So my friends, until we meet again may the grace of God be with you and shine through you!


-Todd LaBerge

For grace be our all.

In order for us to understand that which God desires for our lives we must first understand God, once we have an understanding of our guide we will come to the knowledge that He will never tell us where to go but will simply guide us there.

It is only through a complete surrender to grace that we can even hope to change the world.  Change must start with our hearts, those steps we take that allow the creator to settle into our lives are the most important steps we can possibly take.  The fact that God gives us the opportunity to surrender what we call a life to Him is one that has been taken too lightly, how can we have pride when we kill each other?  How can we have pride when children starve to death... How can we?   Yet we let anger and bitterness over take us as if we have some power over God.  Oh how misguided we are!  Only a fool shakes his fist at God, can no one put some sense into him?  Can no one tell him of the overwhelming love that he is throwing away?  Or the wrath that he is collecting for himself?

Let us be the melody of heaven in a world full of white noise, let our actions be that of old: bold, faithful and without doubt.  Rise up and surrender to grace!  Let redemption be our path and hope our shepherd.  Cling onto Christ who is wanting our all, let truth be our lantern in a world that is plummeted in darkness, and let love be that which keeps us moving.  For grace be our all so our all would be full of grace.


"Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading." - Oswald Chambers


We become the song of heaven so that when we get to those gates we shall not be greeted as strangers but rather as someone who is returning home and we can continue the song that we have started on earth.

-Todd LaBerge

When in Rome.

Well, as most of you don't know, I am moving to a little place called Rome, Georgia.  It is an exciting process and I actually had no idea I was moving until about a month ago... Here is the story, about a month ago I had the chance to visit my good friend Ryan Simmons who lives in Rome.  I was sitting and talking with him and his wife, when Ryan just asked the question if I wanted to move down there and make movies with him.  This should have been a total surprise to me, yet it wasn't... the beauty of life is the fact that even if you aren't surprised with a question you are surprised by your reaction... Any way I said I would think about it but lets be real... I had already made my mind up right there on the spot... So I went home for a week before starting Summit in WI for 2 glorious weeks.

So... after Summit ended, my mind and heart had by that time been fully committed to moving...  I leave this coming Wednesday...

Now, it is important to look at this situation and see God's hand move in a real way.  I have been asked a lot, "Why Rome, Georgia?!"  My answer is usually a laugh followed by, "Why not?".  All too often in life we are faced with possibilities and we never take them, we let the "buts" in life make the decisions for us instead of the "King" in life.  Why is that?  If we believe that God spoke the world into existence why not believe that He will take care of us?  Or do we not really believe what we say...  I am tired of mouthy Christians who claim a God of power but live a life of fear.  C.S. Lewis talks about how God is the author of the play, He has written the beginning and the end but He allows the actor to do improvisation.  Those moments that the director lets us shine because He wants us to are the moments that in all honesty will scare us the most.  It is a matter of getting over the stage fright that we all experience, do we shake off those butterflies and perform for an audience of one?  or do we simply stand there and tremble?  Of course, there will be times were you are stuck in the intermission, but we can do one of two things, either sit there and be nervous or read our script and be ready for the next act.  How in all our pride and stubbornness can we stand before the cross and say, "God show me my path?".  Sometimes the best thing we can do for Christ's kingdom is to actually do something!  So why the hell aren't you?   Are you simply letting the little things stand before the biggest One?

I am leaving everyone I know and love because I am following the one who loves me... God is waiting for us to move, He desires us to grab a hold onto His hand... Whether this be in a relationship or a life change, God allows us to do improv... And when the play is finished and the curtains are down that is the moment we all meet again and congratulate each other on a fine performance and the King of glory will rush backstage to rain praises upon His star actor.

Are we waiting for God or ourselves?

So why not allow the God who chose death so that we would not be forsaken to reign completely over our lives?  Take a leap, for God is right behind you all the way.  As a child can sleep in the back of a car because they know that their dad knows the way so we can rest knowing God knows the way.

-Todd LaBerge

Love that will not let me go

A man bursts through a door on a cold wintery night... flames licking the roof of the building, a small child's voice is heard among the fire, "Help" he cries thinking that no one is there but none the less still screaming out.  As the flames get closer to the child fear grips his heart feeling as though all is lost and being completely alone...  The child puts his head down with tears streaming down his face knowing that he is about to die.  But the man leaps to his side and wraps his arms around the frightened child, to the man it was like picking up a doll, having no concern about his own safety he dashes for the door with the child secure in his arms, the flames burn and scare the man, but the child is still safe... the man makes a quick exit but the building starts to fall all around the two, a single moment in time, a single choice... the man leaps for the opening in the building, an opening that will mean safety, escape... As he makes it out with the building falling down... the child is still safe.   As people crowd around them the only concern the man has is for the child...  The child looks up at the man with tears in his eyes and asked, "Am I safe?" With a smile and a nod the man says "Yes".

Love that will not let us go is the love that keeps us safe... The love that gives us grace, for by this grace we are saved.  Even though the world may be burning down around us, we are still given the opportunity to cry out for help, even if it seem that all is lost, he is still seeking us, with no concern for his own safety, he is looking for that child to wrap his arms around.  He does what is needed... to keep you safe.  So one day we can look in his eyes and ask... "Am I safe?" and with the glory of eternity shining from his face he shall smile and say "yes".

So dear children, live with the love that you have been given and love the life that you have been endowed with for the King is keeping you safe.

 

-Todd LaBerge

Brothers in Christ.

To feel the pain of someone you love is potent in ones life, it is as though your very chest is ripped open to a fresh new pain unlike any you have ever felt.  It is one that we do not desire, one that finds its way into our life no matter how well we guard ourselves.  But the redeeming part of pain is brotherhood, we need brothers in Christ to come along with us when we are broken and distraught, when it seems that our lives can no longer get worse.  Christ brings that connection of souls into our lives to draw us closer to Him the way only pain can bring about.  Will we be bitter?  Maybe.  Does that mean God hates us?  No.  To experience a tragedy that a dear friend is going through is either the most destructive or constructive thing we can experience.  It is whether we choose to allow God in His grace and sovereignty to embrace us with peace and love.  It's O.K. to scream to the heavens in pain, to release that inner turmoil that we are experiencing, but we must not do it alone.  There is something amazing that happens when you share a burden, you begin to look up, to see that life is more then just pain and suffering, that love exists and is near.  To know that love is always near is a wonderful thought which we must grasp onto each and everyday.  Hebrews 2:14 talks about how Christ shared in our humanity.  He shared pain.  He shared friendship.  He shared love.  He shared life.  It is a moment in time where Man and God shared each other.  We must in turn share humanity with one another.  For we see salvation in our brokenness.  When we are weak He is strong.  I find myself weak a lot, so I find Him strong forever.

Let your hearts not be burdened down by the pain of this world, let it in turn be made new by the love of Grace eternal... For love is near and it is a beautiful thing.

-Todd LaBerge

To whom it my concern.

Oh to long for something greater then ourselves,  this is rare in our society... We all too often allow the pleasures of life to overcome the glory of eternity.  How can we live a mortal life when we were called to an immortal one?  It is something that has come to plague my every thought these days.  You could say "well you need to live life first!"  yes that is true, but you are missing the bigger picture!  To focus our gaze on eternity in turn helps us to be able to live our life here!  We can live fuller lives knowing that eternity with Christ and loved ones awaits us after we have carried out the masters calling, that is to live and live well. 
So my friends I besiege you to live well and love often.  God wants us to be happy!  Yes that may come as a shocker but the fact of the matter is God has always loved us, after all we are made in His image.  Now why would you want to deny that?  We need to talk of Heaven more, why do we avoid this conversation with friends and family?  Is it that somehow in the back of our minds we don't want to think of Heaven?  Well... To be honest that is O.K.  But here is the great thing about Heaven... It's not going to be boring!  I know!  Crazy right?!  The biggest fear of Heaven is eternity, but friends, believe it or not, time is something that we have to let us know that life is short, eternity is simply the fact that life is no longer short, but life is something that can be experienced to the fullest amount!  Imagine a world that is held back by sin and pain, but then it is renewed to a world that is free of suffering and death.  The fact that we can serve our God for eternity is something that should excite us!  Something that should drive our hearts to scream the truth from every building top.

To live the gospel is to know what living is all about!  SO LIVE!

-Todd LaBerge